You are hereAddicting Info: Culture Wars: Addicting Info: Episode One – The Gay Menace Or ‘Why Are Conservatives So Afraid Of Homosexuality?’

Addicting Info: Culture Wars: Addicting Info: Episode One – The Gay Menace Or ‘Why Are Conservatives So Afraid Of Homosexuality?’

-By Justin "Filthy Liberal Scum" Rosario

May 5, 2012- I have a confession to make: I am a fag hag. If you are not familiar with the phrase, it means that I, as a heterosexual, have a disproportionate amount of homosexual friends in my inner social circle. For a while I was collecting lesbians and gays like barnacles. It wasn’t like they were a clique that I became part of, most of them were from completely different parts of my life and only knew each other through me. Two of them were grooms-people in my wedding. One was my Best Lesbian instead of a Best Man, a title she found singularly embarrassing (like this would ever stop me from using it). My pet theory is that I exude a pheromone that puts homosexuals at ease around me and they just kind of latch on.

But really, it’s less bizarre than that. You know how most people tiptoe around the subject of homosexuality? I don’t do that. I stomp on their toes and tease them about it constantly. That’s the kind of person I am. I’m forever joking with people about one thing or another. Are you short? I make terrible size puns. Are you Hispanic? I make deportation jokes. Are you gay? I make jokes that are completely unsuitable to be repeated here. The first time someone called me “El Diablo Blanco”, I thought it was the funniest I had ever heard and referred to myself as such for years. I still do, on occasion.

No one ever takes offense at this because if they’ve known me for more than five minutes they know none of it means anything to me. Sexual orientation means about as much to me as race, skin color, height, musical taste or any other aspect of a person does. I could care less if you sleep with a man, woman or blow up doll. It’s all the same to me and has been since I was old enough to know better. Ok, the blow up doll thing might be a bit too much for me, but I don’t judge (much).

I suppose that utter indifference can be very appealing to someone who has struggled with the burden of being gay in America. If you don’t think it’s a burden, you don’t understand what being gay in America entails. It means you are despised by a good deal of the country for something that is outside of your control. You are bombarded, at every turn, with the message that you are not the norm and, hence, not normal. Think of being Jewish after Bill O’Reilly wins his imaginary War on Christmas. Everywhere you look, nativity scenes, Santa Claus and only “Merry Christmas” is allowed as a greeting. Lighting a Menorah is frowned upon as deviant. Now imagine that all year round.

Billboards for men’s products display half-naked women, perfume ads show women seducing men and every single advertisement having to do with marriage shows a man and a woman. Same sex marriage is not only demonized by conservative politicians and pundits, it’s simply not legal in two-thirds of the country. That’s right; your love for your partner is legally prohibited from being expressed formally.

THAT’S what it’s like to be gay in America.



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